Thursday, January 29, 2009

In Memory of Shin

Today I am saddened because one of my followers died. I knew it was coming, from her posts, but I didn't have the courage to look at them until today. As I read her blogs, I was aware that her fate could easily have been mine and still could be. There is no guarantee that I have beaten this thing.

I did not know this person, she lived in Singapore. Behold the power of the internet. I am honored that she "dropped" in to my blog. She was diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer in 2005 shortly after giving birth to a child. Her children are very young and I have been thinking about them a lot.

They will not remember their mother. She will live in the memories that she posted on her blog and those of her friends and family. But will they remember her touch or a song she sang to them? Probably not. As the years go by she will become a larger than life figure that could do no wrong. Not a bad legacy I guess. Except for the fact that she would have preferred to be the "mom that I hate" any day. We are all very fragile and yet we don't really recognize it until a tragedy strikes. This is a tragedy. A forty- two year old mother of two lost her life to this disease. She didn't deserve it and neither did her family. It is so unfair.

In spite of my desire not to be, I find myself being angry. Angry for the basketball games she will miss, angry for the first tooth that will come out that she won't get to see, angry for the ballet lessons that will go on in spite of her passing. I guess that I have the right to be angry about this. It is sad to see someone so young pass on to the other side.

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