Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Looking Forward

I really detest the month of February. It is cold, the days are short and I am just trying to look forward towards the warm weather. As I gazed at the snow this morning, I recollected going through my treatment two years ago. I was finishing chemo just about this time of year and I really needed to look forward rather than back. I became obsessed with going to a warm, relaxing place when it was all over. My plan had to include lots of sun and fun for the entire family. So where do you think I chose to go, of all the places in the world? Disney World, of course.

I remember feeling like I had won the Super Bowl. You know, that commercial where the guy yells, “We are going to Disney World,” as he holds up the trophy for winning the game. Maybe I didn’t have a trophy for winning my game but I certainly wanted to celebrate the same way those guys did. So I spent hours on line booking our travel for April.

I chose the month of April for the trip because I thought that I would be back to my old self and fully recovered by then. How silly of me! Hair takes a REALLY long time to grow, which of course I didn’t know, or maybe didn’t want to know. I was still bald when we went on our trip, much to my chagrin and I still had on my wig for dinner each night. In spite of the fact that I was still bald, the trip was wonderful. Everyone had fun and the warm sun heated my tired bones.

Looking back on it, I am so glad that I made the plans for that trip. It gave me hope. Hope for the future and a life full of more possibilities. I am also glad that we went to Disney. It was full of magic for my children and they desperately needed a little bit of magic.

So as I sit here this February, I will try once again to look forward and think of the rebirth of the world that will happen again this spring just like every other. As the trees grow leaves and the flowers blossom, I will try hard to remember that we, like the earth, will have the opportunity to reawaken our mind and spirit. For that, I look forward with gratitude.


Yoga Unites for Living Beyond Breast Cancer said...

Great way to look at a dreary month! We're looking forward to May but this is a good reminder to focus on the present.

Jeanne Marren Egan said...

Thank you. I will continue to try to do just that.