Wednesday, December 8, 2010

I have neglected this blog too much as of late. I was overwhelmed with the funeral and the holiday and now it is December. Now that we have made it through that tough time, I am excited for the Christmas holiday and looking forward to seeing the joy on my children’s faces when they see the goodies Santa brings to them.

I did have my appointment with the gynecological oncologist and upon examination she exclaimed, “Oh my, that is sitting right on your bladder.” Yes, it is getting more and more uncomfortable everyday and thankfully I am scheduled for a laparoscopic hysterectomy in January so it is a minimally invasive procedure.

I am concerned about another surgery on the one hand, on the other hand, I will be glad not to have to use the restroom every half an hour. That part is getting old. I am more concerned about my children and how they will hold up. I don’t want them to relive the trauma of my cancer so I am going to spend a great deal of time after the first of the year having conversations with them about the surgery. Hopefully that will go well. I hope that by preparing them better than I did last time, they will be less stressed out.

The other reason I haven’t written is that several days after we returned from the Thanksgiving holiday I got a call from an old dear friend who was a bridesmaid in my wedding.

“I don’t know how to tell you this gently so I am just going to tell you. X has esophageal cancer.” X was a bridesmaid in my wedding too.

“Oh, my God,” was all I could say.

For several days I was really depressed and feeling down but then I started to look at things a little bit differently. I started to think about how precious life is and how I, we, all of us should focus on the things that truly give us joy. When I was thoughtful about it, I realized that there are so many simple things in life that give me immense joy.

A great yoga class, the smell of a good cup of coffee, decorating our Christmas tree, the sun setting on the beach; the list can go on and on. So as I pray for my friend and wish her well on her journey with the big C, I will try to mindful of the simple things in life that can provide comfort and joy each and every day.


Chez said...

'May we live in peace without weeping. May our joy outline the lives we touch without ceasing. And may our love fill the world, angel wings tenderly beating.' - Irish Blessing
My beautiful friend, I am so happy to have you posting again and thrilled that you are scheduled for your procedure in January.
May this news bring you peace and joy especially in time for Christmas

Sami said...

I love your outlook. It is just what I needed to read today.


Lauren said...

Figuring out how to discuss surgeries or really any part of the cancer journey with children is very difficult. Its tough to define the limits of how much they should know. I am confident you will do a wonderful job.

Just remember most of their fears come from seeing you upset/ in pain. They want to help but do not know how. My best solution is to offer them suggestions of ways they can make you feel better. It gives everyone an important role in your recovery which in turn makes everyone feel better.

I am sure with the holiday's its too much but at some point I really think you should consider joining the breast cancer registry. The insights that you could offer about pre/post surgery, talking to the family, and your general outlook would be invaluable. You have such a beautiful way of handling the tough issues- there is so much that can be learned from you. If your interested, the web address is http://www.breastcancerregistry.orgif you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask.

Happy Holiday's!

Jeanne Marren Egan said...

I love the blessing. I think that it is so appropriate especially this week with the passing of Elizabeth Edwards. I am looking forward to getting the surgery out of the way. In the meantime, I am going to do my best to savor this holiday season.

Jeanne Marren Egan said...

Thanks Sami- hope it helps.

Jeanne Marren Egan said...

I will revisit the sight and look for a place to share my comments. I thought I registered a while back but I will go on and check.

Nancy said...

I'm sorry about your friend's recent diagnosis. Unfortunately cancer keeps rearing its ugly head. I, too, am facing more surgery next year. I hope yours goes well. Thanks for reminding us to enjoy the moments that bring us peace and true joy.

Lauren said...

Thanks for being apart of this very special movement to identify the needs of men and women with breast cancer! Feel free to update your answers to reflect any changes you may be experiencing.